Chapter 13 - Who Do You Have To Kill To Get This Job?
*** continued from previous post ***
As the others at the table dispersed with 'Nice to meet you's and 'Take care' and 'Fuck the French', (man Charles was bitter), Mom and I made our way into the adjoining Library.
The Library. I don't know what I expected. I think there should be some rule, some governing body concerning the nomenclature of indoor spaces. You can't go bandying descriptors like 'library' or 'media room' or 'dungeon' about without something to back it up. A folding chair, pad, and pencil do not a studio make.
A library should have books. Lots and lots of books and high-backed chairs and Meerschaum pipes. Huge Meerschaum pipes lying delicately on rich mahogany coffee tables that are arranged willy-nilly about the place. Oh! And a secret passage! And Grandfather clocks! Now that's a real library. That's a room that's ready for anything from a deep, confessional conversations to a murder with a knife. Or a lead pipe. Oh! And there should be at least one candelabra!
I don't make the rules. These are the things you need for a proper library at an Inn in the mountains. Or so I've been conditioned to believe by copious amounts of television and the bastards at Milton Bradley. And a deer's head! Or moose. Or some poor hoofed creature mounted to the wall.
I know now why we hadn't visited the library before. I had seen the room, but mistaken it for a coat closet. No, I exaggerate. It wasn't that small, probably 10 by 15. It was crammed with so many over-stuffed couches and chairs that it looked like a summer deck party at a frat house. Or the front lawn of my neighbor. Or Ikea.
As for reading material, there was one lonely bookshelf that had a few hardbacks, a number of paperbacks, a few board games and . . . well that was it. Shoot, your mom carries more reading material in her purse. Library indeed! Harumph!
The rest of the room held some pictures of ducks, a few windows along the outer wall, and a rock fireplace that had a bladder problem. Although Mom explained to me that it was more than likely a serious problem with water leaking from the roof around the chimney. I remain unconvinced.
Buy The Book At Amazon! $15.95
Kindle Version $ 4.99
Nook $4.99
As the others at the table dispersed with 'Nice to meet you's and 'Take care' and 'Fuck the French', (man Charles was bitter), Mom and I made our way into the adjoining Library.
The Library. I don't know what I expected. I think there should be some rule, some governing body concerning the nomenclature of indoor spaces. You can't go bandying descriptors like 'library' or 'media room' or 'dungeon' about without something to back it up. A folding chair, pad, and pencil do not a studio make.
A library should have books. Lots and lots of books and high-backed chairs and Meerschaum pipes. Huge Meerschaum pipes lying delicately on rich mahogany coffee tables that are arranged willy-nilly about the place. Oh! And a secret passage! And Grandfather clocks! Now that's a real library. That's a room that's ready for anything from a deep, confessional conversations to a murder with a knife. Or a lead pipe. Oh! And there should be at least one candelabra!
I don't make the rules. These are the things you need for a proper library at an Inn in the mountains. Or so I've been conditioned to believe by copious amounts of television and the bastards at Milton Bradley. And a deer's head! Or moose. Or some poor hoofed creature mounted to the wall.
I know now why we hadn't visited the library before. I had seen the room, but mistaken it for a coat closet. No, I exaggerate. It wasn't that small, probably 10 by 15. It was crammed with so many over-stuffed couches and chairs that it looked like a summer deck party at a frat house. Or the front lawn of my neighbor. Or Ikea.
As for reading material, there was one lonely bookshelf that had a few hardbacks, a number of paperbacks, a few board games and . . . well that was it. Shoot, your mom carries more reading material in her purse. Library indeed! Harumph!
The rest of the room held some pictures of ducks, a few windows along the outer wall, and a rock fireplace that had a bladder problem. Although Mom explained to me that it was more than likely a serious problem with water leaking from the roof around the chimney. I remain unconvinced.
Buy The Book At Amazon! $15.95
Kindle Version $ 4.99
Nook $4.99
Labels: candelabra, French, lead pipe, Library
posted by David M at
8:16 AM
2 Comments:
Things are slowly but surely going down hill eh?
Only for me. :)
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Keep it nice or I release the Zombies.
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