A Lawyer And A Bear Walk Into A Courtroom

*** continued from previous post ***

The topic of conversation around the table now turned to your mom's and my encounter with the bear and moose. Everyone had a bear story.

Everyone.

Jackie cleared her throat and spoke. "You know what happened to us today? So there we were, hiking the 'Miner's Trail' up to Big Stone Gap. It was wet and rainy and cold and I don't know about Robert, but I'd had just about enough. So we turned around and were walking through this meadow when I looked off the trail and there was the HUGE bear eating berries! Right there!"

She looked around the table to see if people had comprehended the magnitude of what she was describing. "I almost freaked out but then realized that would be a bad thing to do."

"Yes," Robert added, "a very bad thing."

"Right," Jackie said, casting a not terribly appreciative glance at Robert, "not a good idea. So I just walked right on by as quietly as I could.” Turning to Robert she said, “ I don't think you even saw the bear until after I stopped you on the hill and pointed it out, did you?"

"Nope," Robert replied, "I can't believe it but I didn't even notice."

"And then," Jackie said, " we were standing there and I saw another couple on the trail behind us. Well, I had to warn them, right?"

"It was your duty," said Robert. "As we talked about later if something had happened and we hadn't tried to warn them, well. . .", he said, letting the group finish his sentence.

”Yeah," Jackie said, "how could you live with yourself? That would be horrible. Knowing that you could have prevented someone from getting hurt. Or killed."

Robert looked at her. "Well yeah. But there's also the risk of a liability lawsuit. If only one of them had survived, or maybe both just injured, I think a case could be made that we could be held liable. We had a legal obligation to alert them to danger."

Everyone had been following Jackie's story with interest, and now looked as if they had collectively hit a brick wall, with their faces, at about 30 kilometers a foot. (That's fast, right? Damn you metric system! You'll be my undoing yet!) Jackie looked disgusted, and Robert looked confused.

Taking command of the situation, I put my hand to the side of my mouth, blocking Robert from seeing my lips, and whispered WAY too loudly to the group "He's a law-yer," dragging out the last syllable and letting it fade to silence.

I then shook my head up and down, confirming my own declaration.

Terrence regarded Robert with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm sorry," he said.

I was liking Terrence more and more as the minutes ticked by.

"A lawyer and a motorcycle rider. Yeah. There you go. Chew on that combination."

I sat back in my chair, full of satisfaction. "And you thought I was the scary one."

To which we all chuckled heartily. Well all of us except for Robert. But even he managed a grin.

"Sorry Robert. Cheap shot. Easy pickings and all that."

"It's okay," he said, "I'm used to it."

See? See what I mean? Congeniality flows through these northern lands like butter on a biscuit. Or like tears at a (insert your favorite Washington State sports team - college or professional -here)'s game. Or, like water in a urinal during dollar-beer night. Being in the Navy I assume that the latter resonates quite well with you and creates an image with which you can connect. Although not the urinal part. Probably. And if it does - well kudos to you my dear.

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