If You Like 'Em Hairy, Tooth, And Ill-tempered

*** continued from previous post ***

"Back to the story," Jackie said, "I haven't even got to the good part yet."

Leeza came in with a cart, and began working her way around the table passing out salads and large bowls filled with steaming hot rolls.

"So there we were waving like lunatics. I didn't want to yell because I didn't want to startle the bear. The couple saw me because they waved back but they kept right on walking. I waved harder, and pointed to the bear that was still eating berries in just about the same spot as we'd left her. They waved back. Then they walked RIGHT BEHIND THE BEAR AND STOPPED TO WATCH IT! I mean, they just stood there, inches away from this HUGE animal and ---"

"Oh," the guy from Denmark said, "dat vas joo? We tought," he said turning to his wife, "dat joo vas just real friendly."

And right then and there I knew where I had seen this couple before. It wasn't in Denmark, that's for sure. No, this was the couple that jumped out of the car to take pictures during our bear encounter earlier in the day.

How the hell did these people make it from the picnic area to the trail in such a short amount of time? Did they have some kind of Danish teleportation device that took them from grizzly to grizzly so they could taunt death and startle tourists? I mean sure, they were raised on a steady diet of Ingmar Bergman films, so death was like a weird old uncle, but really. (Okay. So Ingmar Bergman was Swedish and not Danish. It's close. It's like Seattle and Portland. Different towns, same tree-huggin' hippies. You lived in the U District. You know exactly what I mean.)

Possibly they were the rarest of creatures: grizzly magnets. Not to be confused with 'chick magnets' unless you like your women toothy, hairy, and ill-tempered.

If so, I once again refer you to Portland.


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