That's Where Those Clowns Come From

*** continued from previous post ***

So amongst the cumulative gnashing of teeth and eruptions of profanity, I was able to glean a few facts.

I have no idea if these facts are true or not, because researching these particular accusations sounded . . . boring, so I took them as gospel. I mean really, would a Canadian lie? I think not. So, here is the skinny. A partial list of perturbances, slights, injustices and outrageous behavior wrought by the evil French Canadians against their much more civilized Anglo brothers and sisters:

1. A dangerous precedent had been set. Concessions were made by the Canadian Government to ensure that the Quebeckers did not secede from Canada proper, and all agreed that this was a bad idea and encouraged anti-Canadian behavior. Plus, it was pointed out Quebeckers whined a lot about everything.

2. Quebeckers were given way too many seats in the Canadian Parliament.

3. Quebeckers received a disproportionate amount of government money, which, if you ask any Francophone, was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You see, according to our hosts, the Francophone position is that it was ALL theirs, and by the grace of their hearts and their superior intellect they allowed the rest of Canada to exist. Barely.

4. The Quebeckers wanted their culture represented well beyond Quebec itself, forcing their 'culture d'evil' upon the rest of Anglo-God fearing Canada, but don't you dare utter an English word in Quebec if you didn't want a nasty scolding. A nasty scolding indeed.

5. Way too many road and informational signs in French.

6. Apparently, they imprisoned Anglo children living in the borders of Quebec City, and the environs, and made them eat foie gras, smoke filterless cigarettes, and watch director's cut DVDs of The Triplets of Belleville until they surrendered - then plopped these poor kids in public schools with tons of other soulless, broken children to be put into slave labor as clowns for Cirque.

7. The Quebeckers were, as a whole - and this seemed to be the one that stuck in the collective craw of our group - arrogant, antagonistic, and smelled funny. Plus they were bad tippers.


I sat listening to this outpouring of emotion for quite a while, deciding to let this little rant run its course. We all need to blow off steam now and then. This was probably healthy. It was definitely amusing.

I looked over to Eric who had been listening to the brouhaha as it unfolded. During a lull, he looked at me with a shrug and said with a casual tone, "Vat do you expect? Dey are French."

That summed it up perfectly. Yes, above all they are French. Nuff said. Eric's insight caused a slight pang of regret in my heart that such a perceptive soul would soon be devoured by any number of Canadian mammalia. But such is the circle of life.


Buy The Book At Amazon! $15.95
Kindle Version $ 4.99
Nook $4.99c