I Blame Suzanne

*** continued from previous post ***

Now that it had been established - and people had been reassured - that I was a genial, and relatively harmless smart-ass, a chorus of giggles and smiles flowed around the table.

Even the corners of Julie's mouth turned up ever so slightly. She turned to the Beemers, "Did you guys really ride up here too?"

Robert grinned and smoothed his napkin. "We did."

"So," said Julie's husband the Doctor whom we would later find out was named Terrence, "which one of you rides the BMW and which one of your rides . . . the other one?"

I looked at Robert. Robert looked at me. We both looked at Terrence.

"Ahh," Terrence said, "gotcha."

"That obvious?" I asked.

"Kind of." said Terrence.

Here was Robert, neatly attired in a dress shirt and slacks, his hair moussed into perfection. Here was I; bald, goateed, bulky, jean-clad and boot wearing.

"I would protest," I said to Terrence, "but it's a fair assessment."

"Just curious, but how did you manage to get that big . . . what's it called?"

"A Victory Vision. A Vivi, or a Vic if you prefer." I paused here, "Although, her actual name is Cindy. Cindy Loohoo. But I don't think you know her well enough to speak of her on such a personal level." I turned to his wife, "Strict southern upbringing," I explained, "very mannered. Birthed from genteel and polite society, if you know what I mean."

From the look on her face she didn't. Julie was going to have to get with the program or it was going to be a long, long night.

"Thanks," Terrence said, "a Victory. I was looking at it in the parking lot earlier. If you don't mind me asking, how did you ride that thing up here? It looks more like a street bike."

"Very, very carefully," I said.

Robert taped Terrence on the shoulder. "Ask him where he rode it from."

"What?" Terrence asked a bit confused.

"Ask him which way he came to the Lodge."

Oh this was wonderful! I had them speaking about me to my face! I was the Oracle at Delphi. I was the Sage. I was in - but not of - their world. I am Shaman! Cool. Then I realized that's also the way you speak to children, dogs, or the feeble-minded. That took a chunk out of the coolness.

Terrence studied me for a moment. Being a Doctor I assumed he was a reasoned man, a calculating thinker. He wasn't about to rush down any path without scouting the surroundings. He turned back to Robert. "Highway 40?"

"We," I interjected, "came up from Carnack."

Terrence studied me with a blank expression. Finally he said, "Why?"

"Good question," I answered. "I could dance around the issue, make lame excuses. Try to twist the facts. Sugar-coat the truth so as to make us seem better than we are. But I won't do that. I'll just speak it loud and clear for all to hear." I cleared my throat. "Suzanne tends to get lost.”

Then, in a stroke of pure genius I added, “ A lot."




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