Some People's Kids

*** continued from previous post ***

This was what Julie had been waiting for. The poor thing was in quite a tizzy.

"Well let me tell you what happened to US today," she said launching into a lengthy, and detailed, account of their bear encounter on the trail, as well as the 'idiot couple' that walked up to the bear. Those were her words, not mine. I liked the Danish couple. I felt the same way about them as I do a goldfish dropped into a tank of piranha. Julie finished with "But it was right on the trail! Do you understand? RIGHT ON THE TRAIL!"

It was painfully obvious to everyone that Julie had been driven completely insane by wildlife.

"Well," Dale said with a scratch of his chin, "you did the right thing. Let the bear know that you're there. You don't want to startle them. Ever. Believe me. I can't stress that enough. DO - NOT – STARTLE - A - GRIZZLY. That's why you should sing or make plenty of noise when you're hiking. And you need to constantly be on the lookout for bear. And not just bear, but evidence of bear in the area. Look for footprints or scat. That's one of the best indicators of grizzly activity."

I guess that answers that question. Evidently a bear does do it in the woods.

"The thing to keep in mind," Dale continued, "is that grizzlies want to avoid human contact. They really are much shyer than you would think. In fact, for every bear you see on your hike you've probably passed right by another five or six and didn't even notice."

Poor Julie. That was about the last thing she needed to hear. She now had the visible willies. It was really quite remarkable. A small quiver started in her head, and gained momentum as it traveled down her spine and trunk, until it almost knocked her off the couch as it reached her thighs. Therapy would probably be in order after the vacation. Possibly electro-shock.

"Oh my God!" she said, punching Robert on the shoulder. And this wasn't a friendly, teasing punch. This was a punch intended to inflict some pain of its own. Good thing Julie didn't have a paintball gun, or there would be some serious behavior modification in Robert’s future.
"That is the scariest thing I've heard. But what should we have done about the other couple? I mean, should we have yelled or waved our arms or what? Did we do right?"

Unbeknownst to me, Leeza had been half-leaning in the door beside the fireplace, listening to our talk. She darted into the room and whispered something in Dale's ear that washed all expression, and a good bit of color from his face. "That was THEM?"

Leeza nodded and chuckled, and stepped out of sight.

Dale shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Well, you did what you could do. There's no protecting everyone, you know?"


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