A Bandolier Of Carrots May Be My Demise

*** continued from previous post ***

We'd packed a lighter lunch than the day before because at this point in our stay I was dangerously close to not being able to fit into any of the clothes I'd brought on the trip. I tried to convince your mom that my rapid weight gain wasn't due to the massive amounts of food I was consuming, but actually a hold-over from our trip up here. I was simply swollen from the rain. All of the Moore men had a certain sponge-like quality I explained.

She said she would believe that if I took three extra cookies so she wouldn't look like a complete pig. It seemed a small price to pay.

We returned to our room and settled into the morning. Mom sitting in her window, watching the birds and the squirrels, reading her book, and I on either the couch or the bed reaching out through cyberspace to see what I'd missed on Woot.

See, I'd been trying for a Woot 'Bag of Crap', or as we in the know say, a 'Bandilier of Carrots' FOREVER and a simple thing like being in the middle of the wilderness on a wireless connection in a foreign country wouldn't stop me. Shoot, I've sat up for two days straight trying to capture the elusive 'BOC', so this was nothing. As soon as I logged on I knew there was going to be trouble.

"Suz, listen to this. . ." I then played the “Woot Off” theme for her.

Your dear Mother responded much better than I could have hoped.

"Oh, you have got to be frickin' kidding me! You are NOT going to spend the next two days in front of the computer so you can buy a box of broken crap for a buck."

"But sometimes there are good things - nay, great things inside that Bag of Crap! You want me to miss that?"

Here she paused for a moment, and it took me by surprise because I think she was actually weighing the pros and cons of watching me obsess for the next 24 hours. Finally she said, "You can do what you want, but there will be plenty of Woot-Offs to come." Here she paused and took a breath, "Having said that, if you want to spend your vacation refreshing a website every 30 seconds I won't stop you."

Oh damn you Woot! Damn you and your elusive Bag of Crap! How dare you infringe on my domestic harmony whilst on vacation? This called for a strongly worded letter to the Woot staff. A strongly worded letter indeed! Full of large words, and coherent ideas. And rhymes. Possibly some stick-figure crayon doodles in the margins with lots of 'Pew pew pews' and 'Krack!" and "Plonk!!" to illustrate my disdain.

But this was her vacation too, and despite what had transpired since we left home, I really did want it to be a good one. I, against all of my better judgments closed the lid on the computer. "You're right. I must someday learn to break myself from fear-based consumerism. Might as well be today."

Mom laid her book by her side and came over to where I sat on the couch. "Thank you." She leaned over and kissed my forehead tenderly.

"Bah, like I need to spend more time on the interwebs."

Which actually I do because I'm way behind in my thesis on Memes, and whether they reflect a genuine cultural zeitgeist or are simply hilarious. Plus, as I've said before and I know you can relate to this, I REALLY needed to find out if the walrus ever found his bucket. Poor thing. It was haunting me to no end.

Mom sat down beside me. I put my arm around her and she leaned in close to lay her head on my shoulder. We sat that way for quite a while, watching the brilliant yellow sunlight burst over the scenery from our window and then just as quickly fade to gray as the clouds moved in. It was mesmerizing. I have no idea how long we sat like that, but it wasn't long enough.


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*** the journey continues ***