Chapter 10 - Of Bear Auras and BMWs
Chapter 10
Of Bear Auras and BMWs
For some reason I didn't sleep all that well the second night. It may have been for any number of reasons, but the most likely cause was simple gluttony. I've noticed that as I get older the digestion of massive quantities of meat takes. . . longer. Oh the joys of the human body! It's like buying a shoddily built house - you keep patching it here and there and telling yourself that it's okay that the windows won't open and the doors are askew and the floor is buckled in the middle but all the time you're thinking 'I can probably make this work. I can. . . I just. . . I need. . . Aw crap. I got screwed!'
When your mother woke me with a well placed poke to the ribs you'll understand I was a tad groggier than usual. It took me a minute to pry my eyes open and adjust to the early morning light pouring through the French doors from the deck. I was not a bit surprised to see that it was still raining. Bummer. I doubted that I could talk your mom into a ride today because every time I mentioned a short 'tour' of the area your mom would say 'No'. But not in so few words, and certainly not as politely as I thought she should.
Still, there was that nagging thought tickling my brain. Flitting about my consciousness like sugar-dosed Ritalin kids at a Christmas party. The thought was this: I was determined to see another bear. Why, you might be asking yourself, would I want to place myself and your mom in a potentially dangerous situation on purpose?
Because I'm an idiot, and a man, and that's a dangerous combination. (Stop laughing. Not all men are idiots. In fact. . . okay. You're right. Men are idiots.) If it hadn't been for a genetic tendency towards lunacy we would never know what a bad idea it is to poke a badger with a stick. Or, if you prefer, try to control the Middle East. The point being I had convinced myself that my vacation wouldn't be complete unless I was able to witness once again the majesty of the largest North American carnivore in its natural environment.
Well, largest if you don't count Newt Gingrich.
*** the journey continues ***
Of Bear Auras and BMWs
For some reason I didn't sleep all that well the second night. It may have been for any number of reasons, but the most likely cause was simple gluttony. I've noticed that as I get older the digestion of massive quantities of meat takes. . . longer. Oh the joys of the human body! It's like buying a shoddily built house - you keep patching it here and there and telling yourself that it's okay that the windows won't open and the doors are askew and the floor is buckled in the middle but all the time you're thinking 'I can probably make this work. I can. . . I just. . . I need. . . Aw crap. I got screwed!'
When your mother woke me with a well placed poke to the ribs you'll understand I was a tad groggier than usual. It took me a minute to pry my eyes open and adjust to the early morning light pouring through the French doors from the deck. I was not a bit surprised to see that it was still raining. Bummer. I doubted that I could talk your mom into a ride today because every time I mentioned a short 'tour' of the area your mom would say 'No'. But not in so few words, and certainly not as politely as I thought she should.
Still, there was that nagging thought tickling my brain. Flitting about my consciousness like sugar-dosed Ritalin kids at a Christmas party. The thought was this: I was determined to see another bear. Why, you might be asking yourself, would I want to place myself and your mom in a potentially dangerous situation on purpose?
Because I'm an idiot, and a man, and that's a dangerous combination. (Stop laughing. Not all men are idiots. In fact. . . okay. You're right. Men are idiots.) If it hadn't been for a genetic tendency towards lunacy we would never know what a bad idea it is to poke a badger with a stick. Or, if you prefer, try to control the Middle East. The point being I had convinced myself that my vacation wouldn't be complete unless I was able to witness once again the majesty of the largest North American carnivore in its natural environment.
Well, largest if you don't count Newt Gingrich.
*** the journey continues ***
posted by David M at
10:19 AM
2 Comments:
I really loved this post. You describe this topic very well. I really enjoy reading your blog and I will definetly bookmark it! Keep up the great posts! :)
Thank you Andrew!
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Keep it nice or I release the Zombies.
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