Let's Start With Canada

*** continued from previous post ***


"But the gangs," Mark said, "you can't tell me that's not a problem. We watch the news, we see what's going on. You have a problem with the blacks."

Wow. Now I was beginning to clue in. These people's perception of the US was gleaned from TV and movies. If you watched enough television, every young black man was a thug. A drug dealer. A killer. Every white person south of the Mason-Dixon, and more than a few north, were Confederate flag waving lynch-mobs with an average IQ of 67. It's amazing how much people's perceptions are based on hyped news reports and crime dramas. Both north and south of the border. Thank God not me. I'm much too smart for that. However I say that with one caveat - I will never visit Africa. Lions and tigers would eat me the moment I stepped off the plane. Plus, I hate the jungle. And cannibals. And a pith helmet is not flattering to my physique. Don't get me started on the kangaroos.

"The gangs are a function of youth, deteriorating familial structures, and economics. It's not just a black problem. It's Latinos, Asians, Whites, Blacks, exiles from the Dogon system - name a segment of the population and there's a gang associated. Shoot, I seriously considered forming my own gang, but", and I held up my cane, "the name 'Crips' was already taken. You can't have a good gang without a great name. I thought for awhile about calling it 'The Cripples', but that doesn't inspire fear and loathing, does it? I thought of the 'Handi C's", but again it's kind of lame." I turned to Martha, "Handi-capable my heiney."

Martha laughed and shook her head. Carl and Mark looked as if I had just knocked on their door and handed them a pamphlet concerning their immortal souls with a heavy dash of Jehovah thrown in for good measure. Or maybe the 'Book of Mormon'. Or, and this is a possibility, a religion entirely of my own creation. You know, like Catholicism.

I would like to say that the conversation ended here, but I can't. It went on, and on, and on, and a little further than that. The basic jest of the discussion followed the conflict between races. Then the Bush era. The Iraq War. George the father. George the son. Possibly George the Holy Ghost. The Gulf War. American imperialism - where I briefly suggested that the US quit screwing around and embrace Empire openly, take the continents and stop all the damn whining. This didn't go over nearly as well as one would imagine. Possibly because I suggested, in retrospect a bit too forcefully, that we start with Canada.

*** the journey continues ***