How About An Edited, Toned-Down Version Of Us?

*** continued from previous post ***

My mind raced, the gears spinning and calculating, the neurons firing faster than bunnies with a cotton candy addiction. I decided to play dumb.

“Wasn't it though? I thought that the oatmeal was probably some of the best I've ever tasted. That's saying a lot. You know I'm not a huge fan of oatmeal ---"

"Oh, you're not getting off that easy," she said, grabbing a pair of my underwear from a lamp shade and tossing it directly at my head.

"Hey, you didn't stab me with a fork like you said you were going to, so I assumed that you had a good time."

As soon as I added 'good time' I wanted to smack myself upside my own head with a hammer. Couldn't I have just left it at 'you didn't stab me with a fork?', must I add 'good time' in conjunction?

"Define 'good time'," she said, chucking clothing at my head. "If by 'good time' you mean sitting with a bunch of hostile people first thing in the morning, counting down the seconds until I could get back to the room, then yes. I had a 'good time'. If that's the way you define it I also had a 'good time' at my last IRS audit and root canal."

"Well," I said, picking up the mound of clothing growing at my feet, "I will admit that there were a few tense moments."

"Tense? Tense?" She said, ripping shirts from the curtain rods. "I've seen Israeli - Palestinian negotiations that were friendlier."

She had me there.

"I will admit that it wasn't exactly the warmest reception we've received."

She turned to look at me, "Ya think?"

"A fluke my dear. We have to cut them some slack. After all, we are a bit out of our element here, not being the outdoorsy-hikey type and all. And we're from THE STATES, so you know. . . that detracts some points from our overall score as well. But you have to admit, they relaxed and loosened up a bit towards the end."

Now your Mother is many things, rational being foremost among her numerous winning qualities. Usually. Mostly.

She sighed. "That's true. It went better towards the end."

Oh thank GOD! I had her agreeing with me! There may be hope yet!

I walked over and put my arms around her. "Sweetie, we'll all be lifelong friends by the time our stay is over. You'll see. We just have to show them the 'real' us."

She lay her head on my shoulder. "Do you really think that's wise?"

Good point.

"Probably not. How about an edited, toned-down version of us?"

She moved over to the bed, stretched out, and patted the blanket motioning me to join her which I did. "That would be a good idea. No sense traumatizing them."

"Agreed."

We lay there in silence for a few minutes. I turned to your mom to say something but there was no point. She was fast asleep.

Within two minutes I'd joined her on the sweet dream highway. In my dreams the road was dry and bright and there was nary a Canadian to be seen.


*** the journey continues ***